My friend and second mum Valerie

In the early hours of Monday the 16th April 2006, my best friend's dear mum Valerie passed away after a long fight against cancer. There are no words to express the heartbreak of seeing her fight till the very end and of her family's loss and sadness. She was one of the most brave and courageous persons I have ever known.

I can only imagine the pain her immediate family must be feeling but it breaks my heart knowing how much Valerie's passing will leave them with such an aching gap, as she was such a loving, lively and vivacious part of their lives. As Helen's best friend of 14 years, I have also known Valerie for this time, and she treated me like a 4th daughter making me part of their family as if I were her own flesh and blood. I miss her terribly and am priveledged to have been there for her throughout and right til the end.

I love you Valerie and wherever you are, I know you are no longer suffering or in pain. You will be missed by everyone whose lives you touched and the world is a quieter place without you in it. I am proud to have been part of your life, to have shared the fun and laughter of Christmases and family gatherings, to have eaten your marvellous dinners and sampled your fabulous cakes. I was honoured to participate with you in two Races For Life. Both those occasions were a testament to your brave manner in which you dealt with this disease. And finally I am so glad you got to see your 60th birthday party a month ago, as that day was so special and the laughter and love that was shared on that wonderful occasion is how I will remember you most. You were so full of fun and I know you thoroughly loved your big surprise and special day.

I hope you know that your family will always be my family too.

Sleep well mum #2, I will miss you and love you always.

S x

By the way....

HAPPY EASTER TO YOU ALL!




Don't eat too many choccies now... remember " a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!"


S x

6th April 2007

Hello all

It's been a while since I put anything on here and to be honest, not a great deal has been happening but somehow it's April already! Where has this year gone?!

Well it's Good Friday and I feel a bit... how can i put it... restless. I should in theory have lots to keep me occupied as I have umpteen jobs around the house that need doing, mostly DIY, but trying to motivate myself is the problem. I need to finish grouting in the kitchen, painting the landing over the stairs (bit tricky on my own as its a bit high), tackling the weeds in the garden plus a massive pile of ironing. Such an exciting life I lead. Whilst I was bored the other day I uploaded some photos on my Flickr account of all my house conquests so far! Have a look here. You can also see my various holiday pix and photos of my wee fat baby, Maddy the cat. Will bee adding more eventually so keep watching!

My friends have got the moving bug and have put a deposit on a 4 bedroom house and I guess thats made me feel a bit this way. In some respects I love it here. Its quiet, my house is 'quirky' and unusual for a 2 bed and I like the area but on the other hand I wish I could afford somewhere that bit bigger. And there's the problem... Money, mortgages, job situation. That's what it boils down to.

My current full time job is still a bit precarious, in that we are a fledgling company born of the ashes of my old place. Unfortunately the work carried over from our old place has now come to an end. On the positive side of that, is that we HAVE won some further work from the military but it doesn't start until end of this year. We have some smaller contracts but nothing big and chunky. We NEED a big job to land right now to keep the company bank balance healthy and thats the worry. We have spent the last few weeks bidding for training jobs and we've now branched out in bidding for design jobs too, such as printing and websites (we didn't do that in my old job). It's been fun in some respects as I've learnt how to prepare documents for bids (someone else did that before) and am learning my way through talking to suppliers etc and getting quotes. Whereas at our old place we did solely training and eLearning, it seemed daft not to target other design markets seeing as we are all trained Graphic Designers. It will be a good learning curve to get back into 'proper' design as my old place kind of beat that out of us and certainly when I was looking for work back last year, the few interviews I had in design places, looked down their nose at me as my previous experience wasn't considered cool 'design'.

So... until my job stabilises and I know I'm secure, I can't move anywhere. It's okay for other people as they have a 2nd income to survive on but if I lose my job again, I could be screwed. And thats why I feel a bit restless and frustrated as I'm a bit in limbo. It's just hard seeing everyone else do it and buying bigger properties, getting further up the ladder. Plus where I live in Bucks is now getting to be very expensive and it's depressing when you see that the only areas you can afford are really crappy. I'm sure if I did some legwork, I can find somewhere I like but I don't want to get my hopes up yet in case work falls apart again. So that's that.

In the meantime, I AM trying to get motivated into finishing all the jobs and getting the house as I want it. Its just a bit hard doing it all on your own.

My brief romance in January didn't last long. Differences in opinion I suppose plus he lived miles away. Oh well, plenty more fish.... (*note sarcasm*).

On a positive note, I designed my first paid website for some friends who own a guest house in Scotland. It's still not fully uploaded yet as they are refurbishing the place and want all the content to be current. They only have the 'holding' graphics up there at the moment which is at: http://www.kirkmichaelhotel.co.uk but you can see the full site via my own link at: http://www.smcdesign.co.uk/kirkmichael/index.html

I need to add their new photos when recieve them and also shrink the width of the site down as if you currently view this one at 1024 x 768, it gets chopped off. That said I'm pleased with the result and it certainly was a learning curve. Now I've just gotta get my own site finished as currently its only a holding page too. If you know of anyone who wants a website building let me know as I could use the practice and I have reasonable rates!

Lastly, my best friend's mum Valerie isn't very well. She has cancer and was responding really well to treatment up til now, but on Thursday she took a bad turn and may possibly have to undergo another round of chemo. I know many of you reading this don't know her but please offer up a little thought or prayer for her as she's like a second mum to me too.

So I am signing off but I wish you all well. Hope you are preparing for hols etc. I am supposed to be going away somewhere but haven't booked yet... will explain at a later stage!

Take care all
S xx